Briar's PDS Moment

In the past few weeks since I posted lambs have been born, the days are lighter and Gretel has become a jumper. During the Olympics I convinced myself that she was practising as a gymnast when she jumped up onto the top of the wooden fence by her paddock and pirouetted and tripped along the one inch of wood as if she was performing a routine on the beam. Then there was the time she decided to become a marathon runner and I found her way out on the side of the road. When I called her she galloped back, jumping the cattle stop in one single bound and boinged her way across the grass. She also discovered where the pellets were kept on the veranda so I had to move them into the wash house except it only took her one day to discover their whereabouts and I would find her trying to open the top of the bag before exploding out of the door when she realised she'd been sprung.

Then Hoggle discovered he could squeeze between the gate and the gatepost and he would join Gretel on her adventures leaving his mother to call out to him in frustration along with Heidi whose legs are too short to make the jump over the fence. But now Gretel has shown Xena Warrior Goat how to jump and every morning I look out to find they're in the big paddock with Briar or in the back yard or worse, in my garden. Poor Heidi runs up and down the fence crying until she loses her voice and the little goat becomes a little hoarse.

I am having a bad day that no amount of chocolate could put right even if I hadn't just run out. The goats were grazing the backyard as per usual when Briar realised that she knew how to push her gate open. She made a break for the paddock in front of my place chasing the ewes in order to steal their lambs before heading up the winding drive towards the road. Putting on the brakes by the cattle stop when she worked out she was too fat to jump over it and hearing my call she trotted back down the track to me. However seeing that I had left the front gate open she seizied her big opportunity and rushed onto my lawn sending chickens flying in all directions.

Hearing all the commotion the goats arrived on the lawn only to be chased by Briar who was becoming more and more wound up. She chased the cats, she chased the dog, she raced around the back of the house out to the hen house and chased the chooks. Round and round she galloped tearing up the grass, braying, sending frightened animals scampering to safety.

Finally Briar ended up in the orchard field so I shut the gate before she could escape again. When she walked towards me I slipped her halter on and attempted to lead her out of the gate. She pushed me impatiently in the chest and snorted so I let her calm down for ten minutes before leading her back into her field.

I was at a loss to know what had caused her behaviour until I remembered it was three weeks since she previously chased the ewes and tried to take their babies away. Obviously she is in season again and this afternoon was just another PDS (Premenstrual Donkey Syndrome) moment. Unfortunately donkeys can't be placated by chocolate like human females can and it's difficult to find a handsome jack in her immediate vicinity so it looks like she's just going to have to take up a hobby and watch Johnny Depp DVDs like the rest of us...