The Egg Man

My Shetland Sheepdog Mishka has a problem with his stomach. Unfortunately it isn't big enough to match the size of his eyes where food is concerned. Bordering on the verge of needing a canine Jenny Craig Mish supplements his diet with what has turned into a secret obsession. Mishka is a sneaky egg eater.

With so many game fowl descended bantams I am constantly finding nests in out of the way places. Mostly. Usually Mish manages to find them before I do. The only way I know this is from his dirty white bib, a guilty look and "The Smell".

"The Smell" is a combination of chicken poop and sulphur. It pervades every corner of the room, soaks into your skin and makes your eyes water. If I haven't a supply of strong incense to burn I am exceedingly miserable. Often a good hose down of his hairy rear end is the only thing that can freshen his scrofulous odour.

Last Saturday Mish obviously discovered something nasty in the toi toi bushes. For that windfall we have been punished all week. In the mornings I open the kitchen door to find a mess on the floor as he hasn't bothered to tell me he needs to go out (this has happened four times this week till finally last night I just covered everything in newspaper which saved me alot of heartache).

The piece de resistance came yesterday when I had a rare visitor. We were talking at the other end of the cottage and on coming back into the sitting room discovered something definitely very nasty on my burgundy rug. Horrified my caller shrank back against the wall while I cleaned up the mess and disinfected. I'll be lucky if she ever comes back.

When I remember Mish in years to come it will always be his predilection for eggs and his bowels I will recall the most.............